12 February 2025
The high of yesterday came crashing down this morning as I rushed to the train station—‘Indian time’ almost made me miss it. The train was already pulling out as I found my cart, and with a dramatic, movie-worthy leap, I hopped onto the moving train, bags and all.
It wasn’t long before I realized there had been a miscommunication about my ticket. Instead of a comfortable sleeper train, I found myself on a crowded upright-seater train. Not my first choice, but it was incredibly cheap, and I was grateful for the help booking it—confirmed tickets in India can be tricky. Exhausted from days of travel and little sleep, I braced myself for the next five hours in an upright position. At least the steady hustle of chai vendors, food sellers, and even street performers kept me entertained. The sight of young acrobats flipping down the aisles in exchange for a few rupees was a reminder of the endless movement and resilience of this country.
As the sun rose, my mood shifted. Looking out at the dry, rugged landscape, I found a sense of calm. I reminded myself that every person around me, every experience, is a reflection—a mirror of something within me. Gratitude replaced my frustration. I was privileged to be here, to witness all of this, to experience something so raw and real.
Arriving in Jodhpur: A Divine Invitation
Stepping off the train at Jodhpur Junction, I was instantly met with the familiar chaos of India—auto drivers calling out, people rushing in all directions. Just as I took a deep breath to navigate the madness, a message from the guru of the ashram arrived, inviting me to his home for a special ceremony.
What unfolded next was one of the most powerful experiences of my journey so far. I arrived at what seemed like an important gathering, filled mostly with men of significance. For a brief moment, I questioned whether I even belonged there. But then I reminded myself—if the guru had invited me, I was meant to be here.
Before I knew it, I was whisked into the center of the event, seated as an honored guest. My self-doubt roared to life—who was I to be here? But then, something shifted. I took a deep breath and remembered: my journey has been about stepping fully into my power, about embracing the emotional energy I bring into spaces, especially in the presence of men who may have never encountered this level of depth and openness before.
I closed my eyes and silently called upon Mother Gaia, channeling love and warmth into the space. As I breathed in deeply, I made eye contact with each man around me, allowing the energy of the divine feminine to radiate through me.
And then, as if by divine orchestration, two beautifully dressed women appeared in the midst of the ceremony. They walked directly to me, placing gifts of money and a stunningly crafted blanket in my hands. Cameras flashed, people smiled, and I sat in stunned gratitude. I had done nothing to deserve this recognition—except simply be present. It was a profound reminder of how deeply people crave connection, a shift in energy, something new and powerful.
The ceremony continued, and soon another significant man arrived. He began handing out traditional Rajasthani turbans to select guests. Then, to my astonishment, I was called forward and handed one as well. Typically reserved for men, this gesture was an acknowledgment—an honoring of my presence and role in this space.
I had stepped into my power fully. No longer feeling inferior or out of place, I embraced the moment. The universe had presented me with my own personal initiation, my own sacred rite of passage.
A Dream Realized: Arriving at the Ashram
After the whirlwind of the ceremony, I finally departed for the ashram. Exhaustion overtook me, and I drifted into a deep sleep in the car. When I awoke, I found myself pulling into a breathtaking oasis—Shri Jasnath Asan.
My heart skipped a beat. The beauty of this place, its architecture, its peaceful energy, felt like something out of a childhood fantasy. As I stepped out of the car, I was surrounded by the songs of birds and the warmth of the setting sun. A wave of emotion washed over me.
I had arrived. My journey had truly begun. By trusting my intuition, by surrendering to the unfolding path, I had found my home for this season of my life.
