25 & 26 February 2025
During these quiet times, I spend a lot of time chatting with Lisa about how we are being challenged to be still, to appreciate this time we have. We talk about balancing our busy lives with the stillness we find here and how we can bring that stillness back into the fast-paced world when we leave. Maybe this is one reason we were brought here—to learn and carry this balance forward. If I end up staying here for a few months, I know I will really miss her when she leaves. She has been more than just a great friend and inspiration. In only a few days, she has become a mother figure to me. Very possibly, I was her hippie daughter in another life… Maybe one of my next trips will be to visit her in Mexico!
For the past few days, I have been searching for volunteer opportunities in Nepal. I was really looking forward to returning to this magical country, and it seemed like the logical option for a visa run. But that bubble has slowly dissolved… Flight prices have almost doubled, the visa is expensive, and I’ve realized that many people misunderstand the concept of volunteering. In my opinion, working a minimum of six hours a day AND paying around $20 per day towards accommodation and staff salaries is more of a sponsorship than a volunteer exchange.
Having to pay for things in dollars or euros is also a struggle for me as a South African. The general assumption that all “white people” traveling in countries like India and Nepal have endless funds in foreign currencies can be frustrating. Many people simply cannot grasp the reality of not being able to afford these fees—volunteer work or not. Anxiety started creeping in as I thought about my looming departure from India at the end of April, with no concrete plan or direction. But after a long conversation with ChatGPT, I found an alternative—Malaysia! I had never thought that far ahead and certainly didn’t expect it to be cheaper than Nepal. So, still with no clear plan for what I will do once I land in Kuala Lumpur, I took a leap of faith and booked my flights. Walking on water is taking on a whole new meaning during this journey, and my faith is being tested on all levels! Yet, I can’t help but feel VERY excited because Malaysia has been a dream destination of mine ever since I was a little girl.
Tonight, however, that excitement has slowly faded with the sunlight. Even though the days are relatively quiet, I manage to keep myself occupied. But at night, the old loneliness returns, and tonight, I find myself feeling homesick. I haven’t even been here a month, but as I lie alone in my beautiful room, I miss all the familiar faces—the craziness at Karen’s house, the music and dancing, Kaapsehoop and the horses, and everyone I love so much. Traveling is a beautiful experience, but leaving everyone behind is always painful. My heart space feels heavy tonight, and I wish I could teleport home for just one day…
